warning : long blog.
bah...just woke up. the reason for me waking up is not that i'm awake or what. the weather is so nice today. i was dreaming about my own flat(dimmer, look abandoned). there was a girl wearing bikini lying on my bed and the auntie next door warned me that she got some weird diseases that make this whole flat contaminated. i was in the flat with my sis who was busying chatting on the phone and eating potato chips that i have bought. then for no reason my sis shouted,"you mean u saw things in this house?!" and the next thing i know both of us wore our slippers and try to close the door(we have to try because there's a force pulling it open.) and get out of the house. it doesn't sound so scary here but it's really scary. in your own house! and guess what, i'm all alone at home now. now the flat look kind of scary. one of the reason why i decided to go airport to study after typing this.
i called grace last night. it's not a dream, i'm sure. i guess i was really stupid. all those illogical thinking. she doesn't hate me or whatsoever. really. i'm like so speechless. i was so happy to hear her voice. though we chatted for a very short time but again i must say i really feel so comfortable telling her anything and everything. at first i thought there will be some awkward silence. however, the conversation carry on quite well. too bad she had to hang up because her mum wasn't really happy that she's always hogging on to the phone. when she said " you are so scary" i thought she's going to say i'm so scary because i know her name and her number even before we really know each other. this is a long story but in short, i know her number not because i remembered it or wrote it dow somewhere. it's just in my head after looking at it for one second. (believe or not). anyway, she said i was scary because i can write 4-pages worth of letters juz like that. i wrote 2 4-pages long of letter to her. the letters are nothing. i just wrote down what i was feeling then and stuff like that. she said i was very quiet all along. haha. i always thought i talk too much in front of her.
frankly speaking, i am a little worried for her now. now i'm all so motivated to study(thanks to her encouragement last night) but she seems to hate studying now. i didn't know that she dropped her f.maths earlier this year. i wonder why. i thought she will be so motivated and encouraged by that guy. i'm afraid that she might be so in love that she neglect her schoolwork. last year during the first three months, she mentioned that she feel like dropping f.maths. i managed to get her to persevere on though. perhaps she really can't take it. for whatever reason, i just hope that she don't screw up her life just being in love with that guy.
if you are wondering why i called her last night, just know that my ESP(extra sensory perception) is so accurate. it's just like suddenly there's an impulse in my head telling me to call. a few months back i also suddenly feel that her parents are being very strict with her and guess what, she told me that her parents are really strict with her now. i don't know why but i seem to be unable to have ESP about her. whatever. now i just hope that she's happy. and please, dear god(or whatever), don't screw up her life. she's really a very very nice person.
about yao and his queries about if dream is really so true. my dreams are all so real. so real so that sometimes when i wake up i need to ask if that particular situation happens in my dream or is it really happening. it's kind of scary sometimes. i can really feel, see,smell and hear everything in the dream and it will just register in my brain. if i dream of myself getting a cut on my hand, there will really be a sensation on my hand when i wake up. btw, i experience alot of dé·jà vu. not just the image but the position, feelings, sound, smell and temperature are all exactly. that's why i say most of the time i can really dream of the future but i don't really say it out. i don't want to alter anything that is suppose to happen. however, ironically, in my dreams i have the power to control whatever outcomes.
now i'm really hungry. gotta go and meet them to eat and study. btw, to those who are afraid that i will snatch grace from that guy, don't worry. i guess i've matured alot. she's not a thing. i'm not going to snatch or win her. now i'm just so happy that i can talk to her.