it was a very fruitful weekend.

saturday
went to church and learnt about how we should not be wasting time on things that do not fill us in. and the pastor actually spefically mentioned those things that i do that do not fill me in and yet it will cause me to get addicted. and i learnt this amazing qoute "Do not love sleep, lest you come to poverty". sleeping bug is one of my greatest obstacle each day. i will remind myself of this qoute each day.

i also learnt how much i love my gf. it was a great date on sat. reminded me of why i love her so much.

sunday
went to changi sailing club to do ground studies. i'm currently involved in a year long project to design something to enable the disabled to sail. went to the club to observe the difficulties of the disabled sailors. i must say, i was really touched. the disabled children are so happy just talkin to one another and rigging up the boat. their parents are so helpful. to draw parallel, i compared it to those people at national sailing centre, where the kids look too stressed and the parents super 'kiasu'. just take one point for example, recovery of the boats. parents with the disabled children get themselves wet to help to recover the boat. they did not just get their kids up. they helped everyone so that everyone will have an easier time. at the national sailing centre, you see parents waiting for their kids. i mean, the good thing is that the kid at sailing centre learn to be independent and all but i think they are missing the smile and laughter, both kids and parents alike.

also, when washing up, the parents with disabled children helped to wash every boat. everyone had something to do. one hold the hose, the other scrubbed the boat etc. everyone only stop working when all the boats are cleaned and stored. at the national sailing centre, the parents will help the kids to wash ONLY their boat. they wan to do it fast so that their kids can go shower and rest earlier, and also to avoid the crowd in the showerroom. they will stop once their own boats are cleaned, then they pass the hose to the kid next in line.

makes me want to volunteer for some good cause. on this note, i was just thinking on friday that some under-priviledged kids might not be able to enjoy the mid-autuum festival fully.

i think we should all live in this world to make each other lives a happier one.

how sad. suddenly, i realised i was being manipulated by my friend all along. hopefully it was just a illusion due to my depression this week.

he was a good talker.

i remember how he used to trick me down to go out drinking by saying that's he's feeling down etc. to think of it, he is always feeling down when he want people to go out with him. when others are really feeling down, he will try to make you feel guilty. that's his way of counselling a friend, he said. just when you are so depressed and all, it seems like you are the evil one.

i remember how he tried to con me down for a group movie when i said i was studying FOR MY EXAMS! he reasoned by saying "you have been studying and neglecting us. don't you remember how we say another girl was anti-social and neglect us? well, you are doing it now. i strongly recommend that you show up before the rest start to outcaste you"

hai.

i remember how he have some injury that he can't do sports anymore. i remember how he desuade me from joining all my sporting events and training. he comes out with all sorts of crap to say how i should miss a training session, including him not feeling well. (see above). and if i complained that i've missed one session because of him, he would say "well, it seems like you don't have enough self discipline."

i remember how he give all sorts of crap about a certain position just because he didn't get it. i remembered how he shoot an email behind our back when it isn't even our fault. that email makes him look good. thankfully the superior was bright enough not to care about what he said and cc the email to the rest of us.

i remember how i was being a friend and discourage him from having flings. he just go on to said that he was only being a gentleman and other girls are falling flat for him. i also caught him flirting with someone, only to say that the person don't want to let him go.

i remembered how he say that certain gal is of good quality. i thought she's a bitch and just seeking our attention. he call me mcp. now, he whines about this same bitch all day long. or rather, that's the 3rd bitch that went through the same judgement by him.

i remembered how i shared with him that my life felt so good that i found my peace in religion. he try to talk me out of it. i was so happy that i finally found someone i love. he keep saying she's not good and not suitable for me until i asked him "since when have you talked to her before?" his reply, "trust me. i can tell". he tried so hard to matchmake another 2 of our friends, claiming that they are so compatible and all. when they got together, he claimed praises. when the two of them start to have differences, he claimed (as well) "aww, you should have listened to me. i told you she's not meant for you"

now, his lifestyle change due to a change of job. now, he don't bother about us anymore. all sorts of crap saying that we are a bunch of slackers. he was the one who wanted to play everyday in the past. we only want to catch up every now and then. oh well, why bother arguing with such a person.

anyway,


i had a really bad depression this week. i have no idea what is the cause. i skipped a whole week of school just to think. whole day i sit and think. thank goodness i'm alright now. got alot to catch up now. and thankfully, last night i started flipping some notes, i guess i can catch up rather easily! praise the lord.

:)

elitism starts young.

what is the purpose of pre-school education? i would assume it is to expose children to the society, teaching them the basics of language and art.

so, why do nursery and kindergarden kids' report cards have grades on them????

from the point of the educator, it is to show the progress of the kids and so that the teachers will be able to know the weaknesses. i say crap. the teacher can jolly well write comments. doesn't it help much more effectively for themselves and for the parents too?

so if a children did a colouring exercise and colour out of line. do we give them a C and make them feel miserable about it and have a fear of colouring out of line again or should we teach them the right thing and note if they improve?

why give an F grade to a poor kid who colour the face of a human green? maybe there's a certain expression he/she want to make? why kill creativity at such a young age?

in future, i want to be a parent who teach in the name of love and not let my children learn in the name of fear.