yay~

finally i got my aerobars and carbon seatpost installed. not too difficult afterall. gonna try them out this weekend. a ride to sentosa. anyone else interested?

training will start soon. i missed cycling so much that i can go out and have a ride now if not for work tmr.

train hard.

"multisport is not something you can depend on luck. you can't just come here and say you can clock a certain time. you must train hard for it. very hard" -one of the participants.

plain screwed up. total time of 2hr 27mins. enough for me to complete a half marathon. damn it. it's nearly one hour slower than last year. i'm disappointed.

i woke up. darn sleepy. i only had 2hrs 30mins of sleep and the chilli is still burning in my stomach. no. i must go. hmm..give me a reason to go? hmm..so that you don't have to go through that irritating swim trial again? so that you have one more finisher medal? nah..not good enough. i want to sleep. it's a perfect day to sleep. how about finishing it to celebrate life? i got up.

celebrate life

to celebrate that i still have the capacity to do such things. to celebrate that i still can wake up without gunshots at my backyard or water gushing into my home. to celebrate that i'm still alive. yea. i almost need a champagne to celebrate the fact that i was alive at the end.

ah. no time for run warm up after queuing for 30mins because i have a bad stomachache. for once the gents have a queue while ladies walk in and out briskly. after body marking (yea. it's a ritual for multisports) i did a light swim warm up. good. all systems are good. i'm good to go!

flag off. good swim. current is strong so we have to head about 40metres from the first bouy. i'm surprised that i can overcome my fear of being push into the waters by others. it turn out to be that i actually have the courage to challenge them as well. pull pull pull...i overtook alot of people. i think i'm in a good pace and position to clock 1:20. yea. i reached the first bouy with drifting off course. now it's the swim towards the 2nd bouy. the 850m swim against current. to compensate, i set my swim course about 40m away from the bouy again. i swim and i swim. i didn't look at the time. alot of things are stinging me. i wish it's not jellyfish. amazingly i'm still using frontcrawl and the rhythm is beginning to set in. but why am i still not seeing the 2nd bouy. god damn it. i was very much off the course. very. and i didn't even realised if the competitors from the third wave (i was in the second wave start) stared at me. omg. i hope i would be the last. i exit the water. somebody was clapping. damn. spectators only clap when you are the lead group or you are the last. i was too dizzy to read my watch. sat down, put on my shoes. shit. i saw the pros collecting their bag from the transition area. oh fuck! it's already 1hr 16mins. i must have swam like 2-3km for the 1.5km swim. i did it in 40mins 2 years ago, in breaststroke! omg! what a disppointing run start.

not bad. 1min transition. last time round i took 3mins.

to begin with, i'm feeling dizzy. thanks to the choppy water and the sea water that gush into my mouth as i breath. now i'm the last few who are left on the run course. my legs are damn tired. i can hardly push myself. the fact that the heat is building in didn't help. nvm. just finish this thing! the purpose is to celebrate life anyway. 3km. still moving. i believe this is a good sign. 4km. flat out. i begin walking. my back cramped up. first time that my back cramped. stretched abit and off again. i took the powergel. it's time for it. but it's fucked up. the drinks station at 5th km ran out of cups! i have no water to flush the powergel down. it's drying my throat up and my stomach began to have a burning sensation. i walked. and walked. and walked. 6km. "come on man. don't give up" someone pat me at the back. i love him man. i begin to run. keeping him in sight. i want to thank him at the finishline. as much as i wanted to run, my stomach decided not to take that powergel without water. it's hurting. 7km. the medic offered me water. why would i not want it?! yea..after that i began to run. at a very good pace, after resting for so long. i guess 3km will be easy to complete. it's just slightly more than 2.4km. 9km. the heat is killing me. i guess it's around 10am now and i haven been running in the sun for years! ya. the heat is making my heart beat so fast that i want to puke. walk run walk run. i managed to cross the finish line after all. 2hrs 27mins! pure disappointment.

for that, i went to the carnival and bought lots of things. all the powergels, powerbars, recovery and endurance drinks. i even paid 60 for a triathlon jersey, i need one for my cycling anyway. no. it's not retail therapy. training starts on monday. structured training i mean. no more slacking.

up next:
9 april : 24hr ride-for-life charity ride
august : terry fox 8.8km target 34mins
september : Osism Singapore Triathlon target 3hrs 15mins
december : singapore standard chartered half marathon target sub 2hrs

yes. as you can tell. all that means that i'm going to nus. sad. received some unconfirmed news that i only earned that local award. so much so for being so happy when Imperial College offered me a unconditional offer. hai~

saw a kestrel today. super chio. i'm going to start riding.

i sat down,
along the lonely road,
with a lonely soul.

thoughts ran.
like how the evo went.

the tree sway,
asking me to stay.

i walk away,
and if i may,
i will stay.

god has a plan for all of us.

mine just haven't materialise.

one day, it will.

then, i will find happiness.

i don't know what to say. i think i'm lost and yet, i don't think i'm lost. maybe i'm really lost. maybe i'm just avoiding the fact that i'm lost. i think i want to have someone to talk to and yet i don't know what should i talk about if i do found somebody to talk to. ever since that day when i got that big 'scolding' from her, i've started to kept things to myself again.

"i don't know. i just think that you are trying to say that you are better than anyone. it seems like all you want is some attention."

it rings everytime i feel like bitching, feel like pouring something out. it's a plug that stop the outlet pipe of mine. although i was in contact with so many people this weekend and i felt totally good, i don't really feel good. if you understand what i mean. there's still something missing.

if there's nothing missing in my life, then why do these tears come at night.

what am i short of? i have my hobby, i have my friends, i have my work, i have my sleep. i'm not in serious shortage of anything. in fact, i lead life in more comfort than most people of my age.(i know that's one price i'm paying soon) i'm just short of this thing. this intangible and yet utmost important thing.

maybe i'm really lost.

do i really need some intimacy and relationships like what everyone has been telling me? i don't really think so for now that i'm pretty disciplined with my training. on that topic, let's sum up how much i've spent on the bike so far.

bike : 1000
helmet : 80
shoes : 80
pedals : 20
pump : 15
seatpost : 40
cyclocomp : 30
waterbottles and cage : 24
tights : 60
saddlebag : 10

up next...

aerobars : 80 or 150 with the whole handle bar.
servicing : 40 (estimated)

and i'm still wondering what's missing....

new found hobby : roller blading!!!!!

now, anyone care to join me before i have to join the ladies' gang from workplace? haha. they are really nice people anyway, doing away with all sorts of rubbish the male counterpart have. maybe that's the unity you see in females working in male dorminant environment.

just got back from riding. geez! i'm mad about training these days. did a 3.5 fast run in the afternnon and that long ride. alright, that long ride was pretty slack because M is on MTB. he has got the power to be fast man!

great. will be getting some 'livestrong' bands from Suan soon. more motivation. i have a feeling i'm going back to cycling. the sport i came from before i switch to triathlon. i still prefer to train on the bike than in the running shoes. and i'm still very lazy to go down to the pool. we'll see. so far, i'm still enjoying running and swimming. hard, i mean.

the victim always win.

office politics,
trick one : stay very calm
trick two : when your boss isn't looking, be really rude to your adversary and make it look like your are kidding so that he have no excuse for blaming it on you
trick three : pretend to ask your boss certain things while cc the email to your adversary.
trick four : make use of your friends at work.

WTF! to think i was trying to help you because i thought you are my friend. that's it man. the next time, i will even help to shoot you down. watch it.

btw,

i love the jersey from the new Discover Channel Cycling Team. match my bike as well. haha

for those clueless, it's Lance Armstrong's team, formally know as US Postal.

"i only have good days or great days." -Lance Armstrong

carbon seatpost : $40
cyclocomputer : $30
the joy of riding again : priceless.

great! finally i'm riding again. to watch the tarmac fly past below you, to pant your lungs out, to see the wheels spin under your power. it's pure euphoria. i can't explain it but i simply love it when i'm riding. more when i'm riding hard. don't you ever feel that you just want to be them when you watch on tv how the peleton ride? maybe it's the joy knowing that you can propel yourself forward with your own power.

i love it! sadly, tmr will be run. i'm sure i will love it too. got quite a lot to think about lately.

btw, this is a crank which is longer. so, drive your knee higher. shed those belly in order to do it better!

he wants someone to laugh with him, not at him.