the following encounter i had on sunday was worth remembering. one of the most frightening incident in my life.

i went out to cycle. on a blardy hot day. ever since the accident in school last year when i banged into the rear of a car, i have a slight phobia to go cycling. lately, i managed to find back the joy and motivation for cycling. and so i was cycling down the deserted road on a hot sunday afternoon. jalan buroh was empty as it is a non working day. empty except for the occasional speeding big trailer vehicles. i was already feeling quite scared. i mean, it is hot, i already have a hard time trying to concentrade and the vehicles are just speeding next to me. when they zoom by, the whole road vibrated and their turbulence definitely affected me.

then i lifted my head. i couldn't see the lights on the overhead traffic light. and since the perpendicular traffic was a minor road, i thought that traffic light wasn't in operation because it's a sunday. so i made the decision to continue. just then, i saw a big trailer vehicle coming from that very minor road. it doesn't seem like it is going to slow down or stop at the junction. instinct took over my thought process. i just continue to cycle, meanwhile, filtering a little to the right. JUST BEFORE i enter into the junction, it SUDDENLY hit me that i'm dying! the blardy big monster is just charging! i turned to my left. i could only see the bumper and the air vent of the monster. i cant even see the driver through the windshield. it was too high. that was how close we were! thousands and one thing went through my mind. the next thing i know, i see that the bumper of the monster was just half a metre away AND CLOSING!

so i made it out of there safely. that 2 seconds that could have killed me. i turned around and see. my heart was beating damn fast and i felt like puking. i was feeling giddy. the driver must have only seen me when i was right in front of him. i took a look at the lights. Green was in favour of him. damn it. i lost my concentration! how could i missed the lights! how could i continue to charge when i see that he was charging down too? how could i assume that green was in my favour and he is going to stop?

scary.

anyway, lately, i have been thinking about how different i was compared to the past. my character, my goals, my motivation and my perspective. thankfully after much thought, i managed to find the self in me again. i managed to find back the me with all the goals in life, and motivation to strive. that is the very reason for the strong discipline in training again. this time around, i take it slow. i told myself, not to hurry back into what i was. if not, i will always feel lousy that i couldn't return to where i was fast enough. i'm taking it slow and easy this time. baby steps. and it's amazing how it has worked. for the whole april, i've trained much more that what i could have done if i were to hurry myself into it. the whole month, the things are do are returning myself back to where i was.

i want to be the boy whom the parents is always proud of, the boy who is smart and yet not lazy, the boy who finds that the quest for knowledge is never ending, the boy who want to accomplish his Ironman goals and the boy who never forget his friends.

i've always said that i love reading but just lazy to start. with the new year resolution of a book a month, it has been wonderful. i love to read now. anything! never junk though. knowledge is indeed power.

i'm just very glad that things are going well. and i'm confident that it will stay the same.

since there's no way to publicly bitch this, i shall do it here. damn excited la!

i have this project group mate, C. always has been a pain in the ass.

our proj is 2 sem back to back. last sem, he got an A. where the rest got B. when questioned, he keep saying that he got B, just like the rest of us, until the prof told us. and when the prof announced that our grade can be affected by peer pressure, as in, if we complain about one guy, he will get C. with one downgrade will means there will be one upgrade. C's response immediately then was "wah, like tt i can just sabo anyone n get A+" how nice a groupmate to have.

and so today, i was asking everyone to pass me the peer review forms as im the one to submit the final report. C protested immediately, saying, if it is to be done that way, forms should be in a sealed envelope before they reach my hands. how nice.

and he always seem to be guilty of something. when u ask him something about the project, before you can finish your sentence, he will start talking about another part which he has missed out and how he did not miss that part out deliberately but because he has to wait for another guy's part.

AND THE BEST THING.

during a bitching session, we found out that he is always talking bad about whoever is absent! omg! just the other day, the moment W left the group, he start bitching about him "he cant even do a simple job, he's going to bring the rest of the group down."

and today, i asked him to send me picture A. halfway through my sentence, he interrupted and go "oh, picture B ah, i haven got the finalised one from the other guy, so that's why late. he la, do so many changes. i send you tonight." *hang up*

and so after he send me picture B, i told him that all i want is a simple picture A. he argue and argue without listening to what i got to say. he keep saying "everything i send you is useful. picture A is useless. no point." until i said "prof wants it." he went all silent over the msn.

15minutes later, he said "i've sent you picture A. think it will be of great help in the report"

since when school become like this????????????? its damn amusing to see how that fellow fumbles everytime you use the prof as your backing in the argument.

if you think the moment you use prof as a backing he will keep quiet, that's when you are wrong. he will approach the prof quietly and claimed that it's his work. but when prof question it, he will start calling us up. HAHAHA. how loser.