Monday, August 11, 2003

"joy increases when you give it and diminishes if you try to keep it for yourself. in giving it, you will accumulate a deposit of joy greater than you ever believe possible."

anyway, i have this feeling of wanting to be alone this week. i don't know. just want to be. it's like a "don't come and disturb me" kind of attitude. i kind of like it and i think it suits me damn well. in a big group, i'm one of those who doesn't have to have a partner by my side. i can walk alone. i'm perfectly fine with that. it's not that i'm anti-social or what but i just don't see the need to have someone by your side when you are just walking from point A to point B. in fact, i see it as a sign of loneliness and weakness if you need company for just a walk. then again, i'm quite a sensitive asshole. so if i'm alone and this group burst out laughing and i made eye contact with them, i will just wonder if they are laughing at me. hmmm..insecurity.

hai..my fitness has been dropping and i have been getting fat. my build-up for the half-marathon isn't going anywhere. weekends are the only time i can do longer distance but i always choose to sleep it off in the morning itself. i just have to put in more effort to accomplish my aim of finishing it in 1hr 45mins. it's a pretty tough pace i shall say but i'm quite confident of it based on the amount of time i still have left. last year, i had less than 2 months before i registered for the run. moreover, A level examinations take priority then.

i just have so many things in common with grace (i think). so many. we think the same way and like the same thing. sometimes i told myself not to create to many illusions that she's for me. but still, she's just..i don't know..wonderful. i said this little prayer before i sleep last night.
"to anyone who can hear my out there, bring happiness to grace. she's too nice a person to be deprived of happiness. make each day a happy one for her and bring her out of her misery."

Sunday, August 03, 2003

"there are many things in life that catches your eyes but only a few will catch your heart. pursue those."

"when we have goals with deep meaning, dreams that need completing and pure love with expressing, then we can say we truly live life."

it's been a hell of a week!