"joy increases when you give it and diminishes if you try to keep it for yourself. in giving it, you will accumulate a deposit of joy greater than you ever believe possible."
anyway, i have this feeling of wanting to be alone this week. i don't know. just want to be. it's like a "don't come and disturb me" kind of attitude. i kind of like it and i think it suits me damn well. in a big group, i'm one of those who doesn't have to have a partner by my side. i can walk alone. i'm perfectly fine with that. it's not that i'm anti-social or what but i just don't see the need to have someone by your side when you are just walking from point A to point B. in fact, i see it as a sign of loneliness and weakness if you need company for just a walk. then again, i'm quite a sensitive asshole. so if i'm alone and this group burst out laughing and i made eye contact with them, i will just wonder if they are laughing at me. hmmm..insecurity.
hai..my fitness has been dropping and i have been getting fat. my build-up for the half-marathon isn't going anywhere. weekends are the only time i can do longer distance but i always choose to sleep it off in the morning itself. i just have to put in more effort to accomplish my aim of finishing it in 1hr 45mins. it's a pretty tough pace i shall say but i'm quite confident of it based on the amount of time i still have left. last year, i had less than 2 months before i registered for the run. moreover, A level examinations take priority then.
i just have so many things in common with grace (i think). so many. we think the same way and like the same thing. sometimes i told myself not to create to many illusions that she's for me. but still, she's just..i don't know..wonderful. i said this little prayer before i sleep last night.
"to anyone who can hear my out there, bring happiness to grace. she's too nice a person to be deprived of happiness. make each day a happy one for her and bring her out of her misery."
