it sucks. everyone is doing everything for his or her own convenience. what happen to all the helpful and hardworking souls before commissioning? shouldn't an officer be more hardworking than an officer cadet? unless they are all looking at it as they need to work hard to shine as an officer cadet. and apparently, a golden rank on their shoulders bring respect to them. i tell ya. fuck off! you earn it. and you don't earn it by appearing at key moments. you earn it through sheer hardwork and determination. there's no two way. if you need to be taught, you jolly well go back to your BMTC.

i have been bad. real bad. i've changed, for the worse. i know it's happening. i'm trying to stop it but you gotta trust me. i can do it. i'm just being tied down by too many secrets in myself. work, self, friends..everything. everything is secret. there's so many things i just can't tell you.

i'm not going to interfere with what you do. i will just pray for you and wish you luck. i trust you.