check out my timetable for the semester!

shit

tts only for 4 modules. i'm thinking of doing 6 modules this year. and i'm going for student union committee and a few sports! gosh! am i trying too hard to enjoy undergrad life? i've signed up for cycling training (tues, thurs and sun) and also sailing club (free to sail - slack) and windsurfing course.

pray that i get a hostel in campus before i go nuts! spent blardy 4hrs today travelling to and fro school. that's one sixth of my day gone! WTF!!!!

now, i also bought the Fujitsu Lifebook S7021. wonder how much i would really NEED it. anyway, i know i'm going to maintain it damn well. and it's mine! i love things to be mine! not shared! and i paid it myself! it's mine! not my parents'! hahahahaha!!!

should i do business or psychology for my minor?

today, as i was paying for a can of drink at a convenience store, i was taken aback by some facts.

i was paying $1.10 for my can of drink and the lady behind me was paying for a copy of The Straits Times.

"80 cents please."

omg. a can of drinks actually cost more than the few pieces of paper that can bring you around the world in one day? gosh! how are we comparing the need for a insulin spike or a thirst quencher with literally loads of facts?! i can't figure it out.

anyway, i totally love the advertisement of the Discovery Channel 'America Chopper - the Lance Armstrong special' advertisement. very hilarious.

Pain is temporary. It may last a minute, or an hour, or a day, or a year, but eventually it will subside and something else will take its place. If I quit, however, it lasts forever.

- Lance Armstrong

my Union Camp group is really nuts. we have been meeting nearly everyday and each time we met, we will have plenty to joke about, plenty to talk about till wee hours, or rather, till dawn. today is one fine example. went for supper last night at 9pm and someone just have to joke about going to someone's house, and there we are, till 9am! gosh! but i love them!!!

anyway, on the way to buy supper during the night, i saw a flasher. damn it. that bastard was running around naked in the neighbourhood. my first reaction was "OI!" and started chasing. i hesistated. in the split second i was thinking what if he holds a weapon. immediately i turned around, shouted to my friend, "hey, that's a fucking flasher la! chase!" and off we go. thank god we didnt manage to find him. he escaped, with a pretty good anti-stalking tactic. if i had found him, i would beaten the hell out of him before sending him to the police station.

amazingly, my friend was so shocked by my reaction and i was equally shocked by his calmness. it's in his freaking neighbourhood! there's a pervert lurking around! don't he get worried? it hits me that ever since we populate HDB flats, we don't seem to have the civil mindedness in us. i'm not speaking for all but in general. further more, flats are now designed to remove the common corridor. yes, it has given us more privacy as it does in condominium, but it has remove the security factor and the friendliness factor. condo do hire security guards, and what do we have, a few policemen patrolling the entire neighbourhood. something needs to be done. since i can't give a solution yet, i shan't complain further.

don't let me see another criminal again. i will beat the daylight outta him.


i passed by a primary school and a nursery just now. perhaps it was the right time that the children are having their break. they are so carefree! running around, playing, doing things i used to do!

is a 30minutes break everyday enough for the kids now?

these days, their standard of education (or rather, literacy) has gone up so high that i'm still shock to know that a primary 3 student has to know the process of PHOTOSYNTHESIS. gosh! the name itself is so long! i only learn that a rainbow is made up of 7 colours in primary 3! that's not all. the children are so pre-occupied with additional lessons that they hardly have time to run around anymore! although those are lessons that i wish that my mum would have sent me to, i still sympathise the children. it's so disheartening to see young boys wearing spectacles, all fair, carry files! gosh! when i was in primary school, i only carried the file to look studious! haha. with just a 30minutes break, afterwhich 5minutes will be used to let them queue up outside the classroom, to walk down to the canteen, another 10minutes for them to queue up and eat their food, they are pretty much left with only 15minutes! so much so for wanting to learn PHOTOSYNTHESIS. so much so for wanting them to know life is possible with the sun.

i've grown out of infatuations........

E asked me a series of weird questions on sat night. she asked me how many gf do i have before, why so, and if i like anyone in our Union Camp group. i answered, "is the past of that important? what considerations does it post? how is it going to affect any relationship i might get into?" she kept quiet. i also told her that i've grown out of infatuation. i no longer start to fall for a girl for how she look like. maybe i've grown out of it, maybe i just don't have the courage to have a crush. however, seeing everyone just getting all excited about the hot babe or the cute hunk, i felt that i've lost touch with love. as we spoke about love last night, i was emphasizing the need of a certain factor to maintain a love. factors can be such of looks, intelligence or understanding. any! of course, they will all play a different role in maintaining that love. suddenly, i realised that the utmost important factors are the reasons why i was so deadly in love with G previously. i've moved on. as much as i've moved on, i keep asking myself, one day, when she turn back for me, will i still go after her? i try to convince myself to say no. perhaps, the reason for a "no" will arrive shortly. i need to walk until i see another junction before i can walked out of this path. often, i look back and wonder if the path is too long or if i'm walking too slowly. or have i been on a threadmill all this while?

i will walk, for i know that's how i'm going to reach my destination.

try this..it's so accurate. since i'm so lousy at expressing myself in words, probably i can just visit it everyday and just paste the comments here. heh.

http://www.colorgenics.com/sps/index.cfm

"
You are the sort of person that needs a peaceful environment. You seek release from stress and freedom from conflicts and disagreements, of which you seem to have had more than your fair share. But you are taking pains to control the situation by proceeding cautiously and you are right in doing so as you are a very sensitive person.

Being impulsive and irritable, your desires and needs are paramount. You do things with insufficient thought - with little regard to the consequences that may follow. As a consequence of this attitude, you may be experiencing stress and conflict.

There are times of everyone's life when 'compromise' is the name of the game and this is the time, so you have no alternative but to forgo some pleasures for the time being. You are capable of achieving satisfaction through physical activity.

Recent disappointment has led you to become truly introverted. You are becoming suspicious of everybody and consequently you now feel that you are unable to trust anybody. Unfortunately it would appear that you are curbing your natural enthusiasm and imaginative nature - perhaps this is because you are fearful that you may become over enthused and find that you could possibly be carried away by wishful thinking. You are keeping your distance to see whether attitudes towards you are sincere - but this watchfulness could easily develop into suspicion and distrust.

You are inclined to be too trusting and you feel that you need to be on your guard against the possibility that your endeavors and actions may be misunderstood. Too often you have been taken advantage of and you have been mentally abused. Now you are seeking a relationship which can provide peace of mind, where you can be yourself and not have the need to put on a false front."

my comp is really screwed. again. i just can't wait to get my own laptop, so that i can do my own maintainence and be responsible myself for anything that's going to happen to it. argh!

"you can't solve the problem if you don't admit that you have one"

yea. with that in mind, i vowed that i will be truthful to myself and everybody around me. had a great talk with a friend. i was just telling him how glad that i've admitted that
1) i'm OBSESSED with G.
2) i'm an alcoholic.

well, at least i got rid of both problems! hmmm, not really for the first one though. the feeling struck back! the same kind of feeling i get when she broke up the other time and when she was having the hell of a time then. it's like those kind of feeling which struck you suddenly! i was just having my lunch and watching TV when suddenly, it's just like a ghost had ran through me. i wanted to call her but i'm just too gutless.

anyway, everyone, no worries. everything is just fine. i'm just feeling weird why the feeling came back. i just feel like calling her to say hi, to a friend whom i haven't seen or hear for quite a while.

i like to move it, move it.

yay~

more driving done. busy geylang and quiet hougang. at least, now they began to trust me to drive when they are tired, or when they can't park parallel. thank god i didn't screw it up when i'm asked to help to get a car (with both right front and back wheels brushing the kerb already) out and back into (properly) the right hand side parallel parking.

i'm really glad that i didn't miss out the Union Camp. met alot of new friends of cause, and we have been hanging out every single days for at least 8 hours! meeting pple is sure nice and useful. i didn't get into any hostel (DAMN! I'M STILL PISSED AT THAT!) and thanks to the new found friends, i think i might just have a good chance of finding a spot to sleep in the campus 1hr 20mins away from home.

finally, after much difficulties, i bought my shimano SPD-SL. hell lot of difference compared to that old small pedal. this one the platform is bigger, i can spin more comfortable and this is definitely ALOT easier to clip in. hmm....i wonder if i should buy the MET Stradivarius helmet or if i should continue to search for a second hand one. it cost a whooping 155!!!

yay~!

i finally did my first drive on the road. and it was a pretty nerve wrecking one because
1) it isn't my car
2) it's a much longer car (toyota Camry).

and i went to AYE and CTE at peak hours and also park at multistorey carpark. heh. my confidence went up alot after just one successful try at parking.

omg.

all along, i was enjoying reading her blog without knowing that her husband is actually andrew fang. i thought he was some good triathlete. he's a national athlete anyway, just that i got the wrong sports. heh.

anyway, that's a very cool girl. a kind of girl that turn me on.

how are we judged? or rather, how are we seen?

is it our looks?
our wealth?
our physique?
our intelligence?
our potential?
our popularity?
our amiability?
our character?

have i exhausted the list? if these form what we are, do we want to concentrade on a certain trait or do we want to improve a little at each?

what's your stand?

no fullstops. all questionmarks.

i'm not here to make a statement. i'm here to ask.

aawwwww....i'm so jealous of these people. so jealous. i'm jealous that they get to try so hard to rub off that permanent marker ink from the arms and thighs. i'm so jealous that they are under the hot sun so much that they have the number tatoo-ed onto them after they clean off the ink. i'm so jealous that they are feeling so tired on a saturday morning. i'm so jealous that they walked around with a finisher's medal. i'm so jealous that the proved themselves.

damn procrastination. nvm. i think i shall go for the following, no more procrastination this time!!
1) New Balance Real Run (formally known as Nike Real Run)
2) Terry Fox Run (this is supposed to be my yearly charity thingy but i missed 2!)
3) Singapore Half Marathon (damn it. i must get sub-2hr before proceeding to the full!)

and maybe NUS Triathlon.

much planning need to be done now.

there's no such thing as bad weather, only weak minds.

you know, it's really cold turkey. however, thankfully i managed to get through wednesday and last night. for those who might not know, i'm in a middle of detoxification, or rather, cold turkey period. it's really not easy i must say. i train twice a day hoping to tire myself out by 10pm. anyway, that's good too. at least i can see my belly going off. a few times, i wanted to give up. i wanted to just go and give myself the excuse that perhaps i will just stop at the first glass. i know i wouldn't. thankfully i managed to overcome the devil.

i have alot in mind. for the past few days, i have been thinking. i have been thinking about my fitness when i run. i have been thinking about my life as i shower. i have been thinking about me as i have my dinner. i have been thinking about love as i watch the DVDs. there's too much. and i finally realised, it wouldn't be so hard if i talk. if i just express myself, i wouldn't have to think so much.

sometimes, we think most complicated for the simplest thing.