my fyp supervisor from india has always been doing nothing. nothing heard from him all the time. only keep asking me about updates. that's about it. recently, he dropped by the lab very often. when i'm doing things he began to ask for the purpose for some equipment. he start to study the experimental setup. he start to dirty his hands a little bit here and there. no doubt he still go off abruptly at 5.30pm.

this week, he called me when i'm on my holiday to say that he's going to help me out with some work. turn out to be messing up all my things which i have labelled and kept neatly.

now, he called to offer help for alot of things.

damn it. i must start to get really worried. or maybe he realised that the professor (also his supervisor) has returned from the leave. hmmmmmmmmmm.

all these cunning people. whatever.

sometimes i expect too much. from myself and from people around me. i expect that if i can do something for you, you should be able to do the same. i expect people not to be selfish for i am not selfish. it hurts sometimes. because, i will end up being disappointed. i must learn to see people as individual and not benchmark them against my standards.

got back the exam result. all i can say is god is amazing. for something i totally didnt deserve, i got it. amazing. nonetheless, this put the whole saga behind me and there seem to be a sudden release of burden. i woke up, feeling very different. i have nothing to worry about already. i didnt know what i should pray for. i look at school in a different light now. sometimes, don't you think the very question of "now, what's next?" is such a difficult question? honestly, i'm a little lost right now. one step at a time now.