been long since i post some pictures. need to get warm up slowly to justify a big buy. heh.


drop me some comments. pardon the blur image though. i tried my best to hold the camera steady. such is the problem when i can only play with long shutter for night shots.

light of the night

light of the night II

when questioned for the reason why she didn't choose a hostel room furnished with air-conditioner, an american chinese student replied

"i love money. so i guess i can do away with a little luxury right now."

sometimes, its better that we can just believe in the signs.

it all started on friday afternoon when i was contemplating if i should bring my trunks and runing shorts back home from hostel. (going to the race on sunday from home. thus, was getting ready all my equipment.) so i thought its rather redundant as i already have my tights with me. no way im going to wear trunks with shorts and lotsa sand trapped to give the thighs a good rub during the run. nonetheless, somehow, a nagging feeling still resulted in me bringing them home.

10minutes before the race, i went to the toilet as i thought i still have time to spare. only to end up tearing my tights in that confined cubicle. gosh! only then i felt the importance of redundancy. the best thing is, i didnt bring the trunks and shorts along because i refuse to believe that there will be a need for them. my bags for such events are getting lighter and i want to keep it that way. damn. ended up as a spectator but enjoyed the day nonetheless.

it all started with the announcement pleading for a extra pair of goggles. i walked over and lent mine to this middle age man who is participating in such activity for the first time. he joined with his friend. glad that i played a part to aid him in his enjoyment of the race. i sincerely hope that he will carry on with this sport.

being a spectator is very different. in the past, when i was a participant, i was always getting all nervous about things. i will check and recheck and recheck my transition zone. make sure everything is in place. look at the course layout. and maybe have that silent moment to visualise all the madness at the start. i've never ever taken a look around me.

i did just that today.

it was an interesting sights. you have participants with all kinds of shape and sizes. the ultra fit competitive guys to the one who just wanted to lose some pounds through this (i assumed). there were people with the cool sports gear and there were people in simple t-shirt and shorts ( those kind you would wear to sleep). i even spotted someone in a flamboyant swimsuit walking along with the caucasian bf. maybe the bf psycho-ed her to join the event.

every participant was getting really nervous. just like i did. all busy warming up, adjusting that swim cap as though that 1mm adjustment is going to help. when the first wave start, only the spectator bothered to look. most of the participants were all getting jittery, rushing over to the start line.

and yet, the fun has only just began.

to see the leaders with their smooth (and fast definitely) strokes cutting through the water make me feel like i want to jump right in and move my arms in similar fashion. it suddenly make me realised that the crazy swim start is actually fun. it is part of the package. to see the rhythm building up with the pack made me wonder how i would feel at that moment. will i be out of breath already? are my strokes still decent? is that irritating guy still grabbing my feet every other stroke? such is something a spectator will never know.

and so, the leaders came up to shore. nothing much. they are just a bunch of people who came here to get to the finish line as fast as possible. it was, however, extremely interesting to see how some people got lost in the sea. how they struggle to walk straight after coming out of the water. (the blood has all went to the upper body. legs are now jelly and not to mention the rocking motion of the water). it was nice to see how some pple came out of the water smiling and waving to their personal fans. some came out of the water, panting and shaking their head away, only to look up and smile the next second. the sense of pride in every single competitor who came out of the water was beyond words. there were alot of competitors who run to their children and give them a hug before running into the transition zone. there were children screaming for their mum. there were husbands giving hi-fives to their wives. how did i manage to miss all these things all the time?

and of course, there is the finishline. where joy of accomplishment lingers. some people sprinted through it. some people posed for a picture. some ran across it with their loved ones. some pointed their fingers towards heaven, like how lance armstrong did, as if to signify that it would have been impossible without Him. abeit the differences, there is one starking similarity. the smile. as much as many are hurting, they smiled.

such is a joy of sports.

and of course, such is the love displayed by the spectators who accompanied the competitors there.

you don't know how important that is to us. thank you so much!

dreams and passion. they never fail to inspire me of my own.

so many of us. so many different dreams. i'm always deeply inspired by how many others out there are working very hard to achieve their dreams. the passion in their eyes don't lie. sometimes, as i lost sight of my dreams, i get very jealous of those who have never stopped chasing theirs. that focus is simply awe-inspiring.

what if, one day, the dream came true? what's next?

so, should have have a dream that remain a dream forever? or do we chase one dream after the other? maybe as we take a step each day, the dream no longer become a dream as we find ourselves stepping into the neverland and losing ourselves in it. euphoria take over the realism and we no longer think of it as a dream but as something attain-able.

meanwhile, if you are still far away, searching for the neverland, let the passion keep you going. one day, you will be.

one day.

now, weekend feel like a weekend.

it used to be just another day for me. now, it felt like how it felt when i was in sec sch n jc. always looking forward to the days of not having to go to school. looking forward to the days i can do my own things, go for training.

rest only feel so good when you have been working hard.

suddenly, i realised that i have been made use of all along. damn! it suddenly occur to me that i am assisting the research student in this experiment, if not, we are working on it together. it is definitely not the case of i'm working for (reporting to) him. he's supposed to guide me! but how come i'm always doing all the work. he just shoot ideas and i have to be the one checking things out. damn it. i must listen to the advice of the lab technician already. this bugger is simply making use of me to try out things and to do things that he cant. then again, that will goes to show alot about me also huh? a phd student asking me to do things that he can't do and i achieve it. hmmmm....

on a seperate note, been rather diligent lately. may it be training or class or reading more stuff. the motivation is really pushing me far. i had a good time thinking about myself not too long ago. i was thinking about how i used to be someone with those goals, passion and discipline. somewhere along the line, i've lost these 3 important component of life. now i have to bring them back in. in this journey back, i'm definitely seeing the old self surfacing. maybe its the realizaton that school is ending soon and i will not have the time for such personal goals. nonetheless, it's a good thing.

my mood is definitely lifted these days. the ache in the muscle make me feel so alive. these days, i reflect each day on my achievements. how shock am i to realise that i used to achieve absolutely nothing for the whole day. the whole week for a matter of fact. from this perspective now, life is so much more interesting. there are now so much to be done in so little time. and i definitely have learnt to cherish the hour.

i think ultimately, it all boils down to what kind of person i want to be in the future. i'm a mission (goal) oriented person. i must know the end result before i can start taking small steps. this is good because i'm always having a constant sight of my future. with that, i will not get distracted by life's little hurdles. those very hurdles that cause me to fall so hard when i lost sight of my future. when i think back, it is sometimes as simple as losing sight. what a waste. but nonetheless, everyday when i wake up, i'm looking forward to what the day may brings.

and it is always good.